The Guardian of Shepard's Delicate Heart
by Velasa
Summary: A silly little thing inspired by a prompt on the Mass effect Kink Meme, wherein dear Conrad finds out there's someone with intentions on his beloved Commander Shepard and decides it's time to have a talk with the Major.


The Guardian of Shepard's Delicate Heart

By Velasa

* * *

The waitress was hitting on him. She was nice, really, sweet girl, from Vancouver too. She'd been making eyes at him for the last ten minutes but all he could manage was an awkward smile and fumbling attempts to mention he had a.. a friend coming. Saying _boyfriend_ straight up would have made it so much easier, but he wasn't exactly that yet, and if Shepard turned him down and all of the waitstaff were staring at him expectantly as he sat there drinking alone at the table for two in the little romantic restaurant well...

Well Kaidan would really rather not suffer through that, so he didn't use the magic word that would have clued the nice girl he wasn't interested and dealt with being awkwardly polite.

Shepard should be here soon. He wasn't late- Kaidan had just gotten here early, just in case. Like half an hour early. His nerves were killing him, making him drum his fingers endlessly on the table, pick at his bread, fiddle with the remains of the ice in his water. Ten minutes left, if he wasn't late for some reason. Ten minutes was nothing compared to all of the years he'd waited for this moment, he could handle ten minutes.

He was staring out the window at the view when someone came up to the table and pulled out a chair- his heart jumped into his throat as he turned around and- who the...

"Hello, Major. It's about time you and I have a little chat."

Kaidan blinked wide-eyed at the man who'd sauntered onto his private table like he owned the place. Dirty blonde hair, stubbley goatee, grey eyes that stared across the table at him with the intensity of a hundred suns. Something about him looked vaguely familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it, so he tried to be friendly instead. "Hi, can I help you-?"

"I understand that you have intentions on Commander Shepard."

"What?" Who the heck- did Shepard have a brother? Cousins? He hadn't told anyone, how did this guy know? The stranger sat with his arms folded on the table, barely seeming to blink. "Who are you?"

"An old friend- the Commander and me go way back, all the way to the beginning. Have _you _been with him since the beginning Mr. Major?"

"... Yes, actually."

"What about that year there a while back? I don't seem to remember you being with Shepard at all for a long time there, he was always with other people when he came by."

Kaidan grimaced, flinching under this person's accusation. By all rights he should have just had him removed- this was a private table, Shepard would be coming soon- but he felt the need to explain himself. "Listen, we had... a misunderstanding. I messed up, but we've cleared the air now and it's not going to happen again." Some old friend from training? The guy didn't _look _like a soldier but maybe he was a tech?

The other man nodded, seeming to think this information over. His expression didn't lighten any though- if anything it only grew more intense. Whoever he was he was clearly invested in this. "Now you listen to me Mister Major Spectre Kaidan Alenko. Yeah, Iknow who you are and I'm not scared of you. Shepard is a good man and a good friend, but as strong as he looks on the outside he has a delicate heart, like a butterfly in a cage. And if he lets you in there and you squish it- well let me tell you, I will not rest until I've found you. I will fight my way through geth, Cerberus and _Reapers _if need be to get to you, and I will give you such a whooping you won't know what way is _up _mister. You hear me?"

A wordless wide-eyed nod greeted him. "Good." the strange man smiled, and started to get up, but turned back with a hand still on the back of his chair.

"Oh, and... try the endive fish salad, it's really scrumptious here with kasa fish and those tiny asari croutons shaped like different star systems. Have a good lunch, Seeya!"

Three minutes later when Shepard finally arrived he was still staring blankly where the guy had left, jaw gaped just slightly until Shepard laughed and settled in with a lounge in his chair.

"Hey Kaidan, what's up? You look frazzled."

"It's, uh, nothing- I ordered us an appetizer, I hope you like kasa fish." Alenko smiled back weakly. His Commander met him with a beaming grin and he felt his knees go weak under the table.

"Like it, I love it! Glad you got something, I'm starving." and he started stuffing fish into his face with a small side of lettuce. Things seemed to be going better already, he could tell... it was going to work out.

Shepard kept talking with his mouth full. "You wouldn't believe who I passed coming in here- remember Conrad Verner? He was just out in the hallway when they were looking for your reservation- nice guy, a little screwy."

"... Hey, Kaidan, what are you laughing at? Am I missing a joke here?"

"... Nothing, nothing Shepard. Finish your salad, then we'll talk."

Ze End.


End file.
